I believe in love at first sight. I know it’s true. It happened to me.
When I met Joel 14 years ago (with whom I just celebrated our 14th anniversary), I was very surprised. I had spoken to him on the telephone about a lawsuit that he was handling. I was working at the Attorney General’s Office in Colorado at the time. He was trying to enlist my assistance, and it so happened that my client, the Division of Insurance, was on the same side as him. So I had occasion to talk to him on the phone several times and liked his voice. I had been divorced for five years and I was certain that as charming, witty, intelligent, sarcastic and funny he was on the phone, he was equally short, chubby, married or otherwise unavailable.
I attended his hearing at the Federal Court House one cold snowy day in the winter and was very excited to see an extremely tall good looking young guy giving his oral arguments to a judge who had already said he was inclined to rule in favor of the plaintiffs, not Joel who represented the defendants. He had no one with him at the table and brought nothing but a notebook. Meanwhile, plaintiffs had a whole gaggle of attorneys and paralegals and documents at their table. I watched as Joel gently swayed the judge completely around until the ultimate decision was in favor of the defendants. It was quite the mesmerizing performance.
I was so enthralled, I devised a plan to exit with the court crowd and then head back in as though I had forgotten something, and just bump into Joel. So that’s what I did. When we bumped, I could not get over how tall he was at 6’8″. He pierced his way right into my soul (okay that’s overly dramatic), he gave me a piercing gaze (that’s overused), his light green eyes knowingly gazed into mine and I was gone. Someone introduced us. I felt a strange feeling in my stomach. I know, I know. You’re supposed to feel it in your heart. When I got home that night, I remember looking out my window and saying to myself, “I’m going to marry that man.” And that’s after five years on the singles scene and having no intention of ever settling down again. I was happy on my own.
He began sending me huge bouquets of exotic flowers that would say, “Enjoy your Tuesday.” It took us quite a while to finally hook up. We danced around each other for awhile and then finally met up for a bike ride followed by sushi. We were basically never apart again. We went to his office and looked at a map of the US to find a place where neither of us had been with any other date and booked tickets for three days later. That place was South Beach Miami on Valentine’s weekend. We had a fabulous time.
We were married six weeks later in the bar at Panzano’s in the Hotel Monaco in Denver, witnessed by our two gay bartender friends. In the meantime, I had to kick out a guy who was living with me and he had to tell a woman who was moving here to live with him goodbye so there were so rough edges and I hope by now they have forgiven us.
Fourteen years later I can say there is love at first sight. You feel it in your gut. You know it in you body and it cannot be intellectualized. A list of pros and cons will do no good. Love wants what it wants.